The Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous H.O.W. Concept has been formed to offer the sex & love addict a disciplined and structured approach. There are no absolutes for sobriety in S.L.A.A., as individual patterns of sex and love addiction vary. However, the S.L.A.A. H.O.W. groups have been formed in the belief that our disease IS absolute and therefore only strict acceptance of the H.O.W. program will offer any sustained sobriety to those of us whose compulsion has reached a critical level.

Therefore we accept our H.O.W. defined bottom-line sobriety; our Step Questions and Maintenance Questions; our Outreach Calls; the Twelve Steps and Traditions; and our other tools as requirements for our recovery. We commit ourselves to a black & white sobriety so that we may deal with the grey areas of living.

In H.O.W. we've found that, if we commit to using the tools of recovery on a daily basis, our disease of sex and love addiction can be arrested one day at a time.

The H.O.W. Tools

Here are the tools as we work them according to the S.L.A.A. H.O.W. concept of sobriety:

 1. In H.O.W. each sex & love addict works with a sponsor to identify his or her personal bottom lines. We become sober by abstaining from these bottom-line behaviors on a daily basis.

2.  We use S.L.A.A. literature as well as the AA Big Book and the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions as tools of examination and release. Our writing assignments in H.O.W. are taken from these.

3.  We recommend you attend a minimum of three meetings per week. Meetings are dedicated to the concept of remaining Honest, Open-minded and Willing to listen... this is the H.O.W. of the program.

4.  We make four phone calls a day - one to our sponsor and three outreach calls to other S.L.A.A. members. The phone is like a lifeline: we need the contact. It can be like a mini meeting.

5.  We practice daily prayer and meditation to develop a relationship with a power greater than ourselves which can guide and sustain us in recovery, being forever aware that God is doing for us what we have never been able to do for ourselves.

6.  Service is freedom from the bondage of self, giving back what we've freely and lovingly received. It's helping out at meetings, setting up chairs, making coffee and welcoming newcomers etc. Sobriety is a service to ourselves and the group.

7.  A S.L.A.A. H.O.W. sponsor is a sex and love addict who, by the grace of God, has 30 days of continuous sobriety working the S.L.A.A. H.O.W. concept and has taken the first three steps. In keeping with our second tradition, our leaders are but trusted servants - they do not govern. Discretion, common sense and our higher power can guide us in our selection.