The H.O.W. Concept
The Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous H.O.W.
Concept has been formed to offer the sex & love addict a disciplined and
structured approach. There are no absolutes for sobriety in S.L.A.A., as
individual patterns of sex and love addiction vary. However, the S.L.A.A. H.O.W.
groups have been formed in the belief that our disease IS absolute and
therefore only strict acceptance of the H.O.W. program will offer any sustained
sobriety to those of us whose compulsion has reached a critical level.
Therefore we accept our H.O.W. defined
bottom-line sobriety; our Step Questions and Maintenance Questions; our
Outreach Calls; the Twelve Steps and Traditions; and our other tools as
requirements for our recovery. We commit ourselves to a black & white sobriety
so that we may deal with the grey areas of living.
In H.O.W. we've found that, if we commit to
using the tools of recovery on a daily basis, our disease of sex and love
addiction can be arrested one day at a time.
The H.O.W. Tools
Here are the tools as we work them
according to the S.L.A.A. H.O.W. concept of sobriety:
1. In H.O.W. each sex & love addict works
with a sponsor to identify his or her personal bottom lines. We become sober by
abstaining from these bottom-line behaviors on a daily basis.
2. We use S.L.A.A. literature as well as the
AA Big Book and the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions as tools of examination and
release. Our writing assignments in H.O.W. are taken from these.
3. We recommend you attend a minimum of three
meetings per week. Meetings are dedicated to the concept of remaining Honest,
Open-minded and Willing to listen... this is the H.O.W. of the program.
4. We make four phone calls a day - one to our
sponsor and three outreach calls to other S.L.A.A. members. The phone is like a
lifeline: we need the contact. It can be like a mini meeting.
5. We practice daily prayer and meditation to
develop a relationship with a power greater than ourselves which can guide and
sustain us in recovery, being forever aware that God is doing for us what we
have never been able to do for ourselves.
6. Service is freedom from the bondage of
self, giving back what we've freely and lovingly received. It's helping out at
meetings, setting up chairs, making coffee and welcoming newcomers etc.
Sobriety is a service to ourselves and the group.
7. A S.L.A.A. H.O.W. sponsor is a sex and love
addict who, by the grace of God, has 30 days of continuous sobriety working the
S.L.A.A. H.O.W. concept and has taken the first three steps. In keeping with
our second tradition, our leaders are but trusted servants - they do not
govern. Discretion, common sense and our higher power can guide us in our selection.